what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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