Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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