guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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