On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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