Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
