My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
