Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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