Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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