Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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