Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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