South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
