I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
