Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
