Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
