If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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