Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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