What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
