this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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