Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
