The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
