When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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