I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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