Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
