he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize