I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
tell your sister to shave her snatch
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
