You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
