oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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