I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
