just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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