i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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