why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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