He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
