I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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