Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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