so let's talk penis.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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