Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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