so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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