is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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