yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
