and she was petting her beer can
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
