Do you still have your period?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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