tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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