I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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