she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
