well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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