You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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