So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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