Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
