Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
