I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
