i think i have herpe
just one?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
