White coat. Heels.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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