How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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