Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
where are you?
Hypothermia
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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