Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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