You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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