Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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