We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
