Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
