they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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