Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

(425): View more from Washington

There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

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(734): View more from Michigan

Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

(339): View more from Massachusetts

No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.

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(954): View more from Florida

I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.

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(305): View more from Florida

Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!

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