i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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