Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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