ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
