The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
