mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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