He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
