the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
