i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
