There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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