I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Farmville is her only friend.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
