I just made out with a guy for $7.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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