people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
