I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
